I haven't blogged in awhile. Clearly. I ran last night. But sometimes I have to remind myself I'm supposed to be a runner. Just like I'm reminding myself now that I'm supposed to be a writer.
Sometimes it's easy to think, "Well, gosh, I've done that before. I can do it again." I did a cartwheel once. Not so sure I could do it again. I've never quite grasped cartwheeling. I ran a half marathon once (well, six months ago). Just because I did it once doesn't mean I can up and run 13.1 miles right now. It takes practice. Doing cartwheels takes practice. Writing takes practice. Running takes practice.
I played the violin for many years. I can still play but, trust me, it's not a beautiful sound. Why? Because I haven't practiced in years. It's like the old joke:
A tourist stops a New Yorker. "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" he asks.
"Practice," the New Yorker responds.
How do I run a half marathon? Practice.
How do I write a great blog (or at least a good one)? Practice.
How do I play the violin? Practice.
How do I balance chemistry formulas? Practice.
You get the picture. Well, so do I. But a couple of weeks ago I had to remind myself. I'm not going to run this half marathon just because I ran one before. I've taken an American History test before, but it doesn't mean I would pass one now. Our minds don't retain information without a little practice (aka studying), and our muscles don't remember without training.
I've recently been feeling a little down, because I'm looking for a (real) full-time job. Unless you've been living under a rock for the past several years, this statement shouldn't surprise you. I wasn't expecting it to be quite so tough, quite so competitive. But I have to keep trying. Just like I have to keep running.
My best friend sent me this text message after I said I was beating myself up a bit: "You are, but it's who you are. You're a perfectionist and an overachiever and there's nothing wrong with that. But among all those things, you're also a strong woman and you have to believe in yourself and believe you WILL find a great job. You are not one to give up either, so just remember that too!"
I received it right as I was coming up on one of the toughest hills near my house. I didn't want to run it, but I did, because I have people who believe in me. They believe that with practice I will get better. And one day soon I will cross that finish line, whether it's at a marathon or in the job market.
This blog may not make much sense now. I'm out of practice. It'll get better.
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